The Sandwich

Forrest Gump said "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get". That sure is true. Life is also like a sandwich. All of us are part of the layers.
The top slice of bread is made up of ages 40 and younger . The bottom slice would be ages 65 and over (of course, in every family situation this varies). In between, is the filling - "the sandwich generation". Each of these time periods come with interesting challenges and demands.

Since I married young, straight off the farm, I had a lot to learn about life on my own. I sort of grew up with my kids. (This time was the top slice of bread) We were getting established at work, stretching the dollar to make ends meet, going to night school & summer school, taking kids to lessons and activities, and very active in our small church. My Dad loaned us some money for a down payment on a beautiful half acre lot which cost us $4,000 dollars. Here we built our first home. Basically, life was good..... till one morning my brother phoned and said, "Dad committed suicide." Talk about life coming to a screeching halt, like your head hitting the windshield!!

Suddenly I found myself in between the slices of bread. My mother-in-law was a widow and looked forward to our visits. Now my mother's life had come crashing down around her, our close family..shattered. We rallied around her the best we could, but my four siblings, our extended families and I were reeling emotionally also. We didn't know how to handle this, but we were carried on wings of prayer. Yet, sometimes I felt like the pastrami and cheese squished between mayonaise, tomato & lettuce. My children and husband were very important and so were our mothers. Each needed my time, love and support. I felt pulled in both directions. Many of you can identify, I'm sure.
As I reflect on this time 30 years later, I praise God for his healing, strength and grace. My mother was a stalwart..... totally leaning on God to carry her through that devastating experience.
She didn't make us feel guilty or feel sorry for her. Totally amazing!

I do not regret... the many trips to see her...bringing her flowers... taking her clothes shopping (where we would laugh in the changing room, because nothing would fit her short, pear-shaped body) ...the many dinners at Chicken Chalet..... the surprise 66th birthday party....listening to her repeated stories...and being at her side when she passed away.
I do regret my lack of respect and appreciation for her when I was younger and not saying,"I love you" more.

To my friends who find yourself in the middle of the sandwich, where young and older both vie for your time, care and love... take heart. All too soon they will be gone and won't need you anymore.
The true reality is.... that I am now the bottom slice of the sandwich. Yikes!